


it's a beautiful night, we're looking for something dumb to do

by EastOfEll



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Hurt/Comfort, maggie gets cold feet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-15
Updated: 2017-07-15
Packaged: 2018-12-02 08:12:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11505270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EastOfEll/pseuds/EastOfEll
Summary: the day of their wedding, maggie gets cold feet. alex overhears and they have a talk.





	it's a beautiful night, we're looking for something dumb to do

**Author's Note:**

> those bts pictures are KILLING ME. i'm gonna scream. anyway thanks to nox antoipe for giving me the idea (even though it was them being a Jerk and giving angsty ideas) and kali wayhaughtie for being good support :)

Maggie has always been afraid of marriage.

 

When she was little, it was because when she imagined getting married, Grown Up Maggie would be walking down the aisle to a tall, muscular man. Sometimes he had a beard, sometimes his tuxedo was orange, but the thought of walking up the aisle to marry a man  _ terrified  _ Maggie, made her stomach tie itself in knots, and she didn’t really know why until almost a decade later.

 

She knew by that time if she ever got married, there would be no need to split the seating section by family.

 

As she got older, as she dipped into her 20s, it was because she was afraid of commitment. It wasn’t hard to admit, because why  _ wouldn’t  _ she be? Everyone she gave her heart to left her, so she learned to leave with it cracked instead of being stranded broken. With Emily, it resulted in a one night stand― and seeing her leave their shared apartment with angry tears in her eyes, the announcement of them being over still ringing in her ears, Maggie realized she didn’t  _ deserve  _ until death do they part.

 

Meeting Alex changed that.

 

Well,  _ sort  _ of.

 

Because Alex changed her enough for her to actually say  _ yes _ , to plan a wedding with her [and Kara] and pick things like napkin color and edible arrangements. It was okay, and it was fun, and it hid the absolute terror Maggie had of marriage until she was looking in the mirror, watching James zip up the back of her dress.

 

“Oh god,” Maggie says.

 

“A little nervous?” James asks, and Maggie turns around, brown eyes locking onto brown.

 

“I’ve never been more afraid in my life.”

 

“Hey,” James says, stepping back. “It’s okay to have a little cold feet.”

 

“It’s not just my feet. My entire body is cold. I’m… the worst person at relationships. After my family―” and Maggie doesn’t have to explain, because James knows after a night where they went to a (regular, non alien) bar and got super drunk. “―it’s just hard to imagine the people close to me actually care, and  _ will  _ care. And it’s not like I think Alex doesn’t care about me, sometimes it’s so strong I feel it radiating off of her and it’s the warmest thing I’ve ever felt, it’s just… what if one day she realizes she deserves better than me? Someone who doesn’t have shitty hours like she does and is in constant danger of being killed and is probably the most self-destructive person on the planet―”

 

“Maggie.” James stops her, and Maggie immediately regrets her word vomit. “If you’re scared, that means you love her.”

 

“Trust me… I’ve never doubted that.” Maggie sighs, gives herself one more look in the mirror. It irritates her. “I don’t want to be rude, can I… just have some time alone?”

 

“Whatever you need.” And with that, Maggie is the only one in the room. She absolutely has to get away from the mirror, so she does, walking across the room with her back to the thing that reminds her of her biggest fear and concentrates on  _ what  _ she should do.

 

A few moments of silence occur before Maggie hears a quiet, “Maggie? It’s Alex.” Maggie starts to turn around, but is interrupted by a quick, “No! You can’t turn around. Kara would kill me if she found out we saw each other. And she will, somehow, even though she’s not the mind reader. Just, uh, say something, and I’ll back into you.”

 

“I’m on your right,” Maggie says. “Near the wall.”

 

“Okay,” Alex says, and her voice is a lot closer, “let me just… there.” An outstretched hand finds her upper arm, and then slides down to entangle their hands. “Back to back?”

 

As both brides-to-be situate themselves so that they’re in the position, Maggie asks, “You’re not looking in the mirror, are you?”

 

“Nope, not unless you want me to,” Alex says. “Maggie, um…”

 

“What?” Maggie freezes, and Alex instantly take the hand that isn’t in Maggie’s to awkwardly touch her side. (It’s still slightly comforting.)

 

“Nothing’s wrong,” Alex says. “I was coming back from the bathroom― I really should have gone before putting on the dress, honestly, but I didn’t have to go then, you know?― and I heard what you said to James. I made sure he didn’t see me on his way out.”

 

“Oh.” Maggie’s voice is an odd mixture of defeat, anxiety, and relief. “I’m sorry.”

 

“Don’t apologize,” Alex says. “You don’t think I think the same thing? That one day you’ll realize you want more than a baby lesbian with a superhero alien for a sister and try and find something else? God, Maggie, I think about it constantly.”

 

“Alex,” Maggie starts. “I―”

 

“But,” Alex continues. “Do you know what I think about more? I think about how much I know you love me. I think about how you worked with Kara even though you two didn’t get along to save me. I think about that one time you went to see that new emoji movie with me because I thought it looked cute and in the end, you were right, it was the worst thing I’ve ever seen. I think about how you always tease me for being the little spoon even though I’m taller but we both know you don’t want it any other way. I think about how, without you, I’d still think I wasn’t made to love like this. I know you’re always so scared of ruining the relationships you have; you don’t think I’m scared, too? I was a 25 year old with no ties and putting myself in danger all the time because I only knew how to be self destructive, too, and it took be being detained to sober up, literally. But Maggie, meeting you and falling in love with you hasn’t made my life worse. You were the piece I never realized was missing.”

 

“Danvers,” Maggie croaks out, “you’re  _ really  _ lucky I haven’t had my make up put on yet.”

 

“Yeah, me too,” Alex says. By this point, both hands are laced together, and Alex squeezes each of them. “I fight the fear within me, because I know loving is a choice, Maggie. I didn’t love Kara at first, when she came into my life, but I chose to love her. If I had to choose someone to love and live with for the next 20, 30, 50 years, I’d spend every one of those days choosing you.”

 

“Ride or die,” Maggie says, and she can feel Alex nod.

 

There’s a pause, and Maggie breaks it with, “I want to say something too.”

 

“Before the wedding?” Alex teases, and there’s a shuffle of her head that Maggie figures was her wanting to naturally turn around before knowing better. “Not that I’m saying you shouldn’t. Just saying that that’s what vows are for.”

 

“Alex, judging by all of those metaphors, I have a feeling that  _ was  _ your vow.”

 

Maggie could practically feel Alex blushing. “Maybe. I had Kara help me with it.”

 

“I know.”

 

“Hey, what’s what supposed to mean? I’m a great writer!”

 

Maggie remembers the poem Alex had given to her on Valentine’s Day. “Of course you are. Just, don’t quit your day job.”

 

Maggie takes a deep breath before starting. “The main reason I want to say it now is because I don’t think I’ll be as emotionally honest if I’m in front of a crowd.” She looks at a piece of dust resting on the ground. “It’s not that I don’t want you to know, it’s just… I’ve always been a little closed off. I was that kid reading books or talking with the monitor instead of playing at recess with the others. By the time I was in high school, it only became worse, because of… And I just got this feeling that if the people that were closest to me didn’t want me, how would others? Because you, Alex, you always knew the few people that would have your back, even if the rest of the world was against you. Me? Not so much. I only had myself.”

 

One of Alex’s hands moves up to cradle Maggie’s wrist, thumb rubbing near her pulse in comfort, but she doesn’t say anything.

 

“I was always so scared of making connections because I just had a feeling that one day they’d  up and leave. The worst part is that when I started having one night stands, people thought I as  _ cool _ . Society uplifts those who are able to leave a stranger’s apartment in last night’s clothing, because being a player is a fantasy life to most, and it only made my tendencies worse, and my heart more closed off. And then you came, you know? You came onto my crime scene and―”

 

“Let’s compromise and say  _ our  _ crime scene,” Alex says.

 

“Okay, okay.  _ Our  _ crime scene. I was so aggravated at first, and then we ended up working together and I realized… we had this harmony that I had never experienced with anyone else before. We were always on the same page and I’ve never been able to have that with a work partner before. And I know it was probably more terrifying for you, but you wondering about your sexuality scared me  _ so badly _ . Because I realized I was starting to like someone who didn’t even know if she liked women yet. And you do, you  _ are _ , and somehow you decided to… settle with me.”

 

“Maggie―”

 

“I know, I know, I’m working on it. I want to believe I’m the best for you.”

 

“You  _ are _ .”

 

“I’m doing some power poses in the mirror,” Maggie admits, “and you know what I realized?”

 

“What?”

 

“Kara,” Maggie says. “I realized that her power poses are modeled after you.”

 

A beat, and then a small, “They are?”

 

“Yep. Seeing you do the hands-on-hips thing made me remember power poses are backed by science to help boost self esteem, and after doing a few in the mirror, I realized I look like Supergirl.”

 

“Huh.”

 

“But, anyway,” Maggie says, “you really changed me. You weren’t the only one to be enlightened. You say you always thought you weren’t made to love before this; I thought I was never made to  _ be  _ loved. And I think, in that way, we complete each other.”

 

“Yeah.” Alex can feel the emotions scratching at her throat, pricking her eyes.

 

“And it’ll be hard,” Maggie finishes, “there’ll be bumps in the road, but if I had to choose between being nervous learning new things and having new adventures with you and being secure and alone, I’d choose nervous every time.”

 

“Me too,” Alex agrees.

 

“I’m glad it was you, Alex.” Maggie rubs the backs of Alex’s palms with her thumbs.

 

“It’s not just me,” Alex adds. “Kara, my mother, James, Winn, Lucy, and Lena? They’re your family, too. You don’t have to be alone.”

 

Maggie thinks of the one chair in the audience that’s hers: a small plaque with her aunt’s name rests on it, several years too late. “I know.”

 

“They’re all scared too, you know? Winn especially.”

 

Maggie snorts. “Winn is always scared.”

 

“Yeah, but it’s  _ for  _ us, not because of us.”

 

A few beats, and then Maggie says, “I want to see you  _ so  _ badly.”

 

“Well, you can’t. You heard what I said about Kara. Is it possible to be a bridezilla when you’re the one not getting married?” Alex muses. “Anyway, you can see me at the altar, and be stunned because of how beautiful I am.”

 

“Like you wouldn’t do the same,” Maggie says.

 

“Of course I will. I’ll be so enraptured I won’t notice everyone’s eyes soften because of how cute they think we are. Like a fairy tale.”

 

“Fairy tales are lame,” Maggie says, “We’re too badass, and they’re never realistic. This? This is real. We’re gonna live a real, full, happy life.”

 

Alex smiles, still remembering the first time those words were spoken to her. “You know, fairy tales can be badass. You have to have the right characters.”

 

“Alex,” Maggie warns.

 

“What!” Alex says. “It has all the elements of a fairy tale.”

 

“Fairy tales have to be centuries old. Shrek is  _ not  _ a fairy tale.”

 

“But―”

 

“We’re not getting into this argument on our wedding day.”

 

“Fine,” Alex sighs. “So after we have the wedding and the banquet after and throw our garters into the audience, we can go to the hotel and take these dresses off of each other.”

 

Maggie smirks.

 

“I know you’re smirking.”

 

Her smirk grows wider.

 

__________

 

Their ears are thrumming, adrenaline pumping through their veins, and they’re barely able to make out the voice saying, “You may now kiss the bride.”

 

They kiss, and Alex finally understands what it feels like to fly.

 

They kiss, and Maggie finally understands what it’s like to be grounded, why a person can be considered home.

 

They break, the kiss too short but simultaneously lasting forever, and as the newlyweds look into each other’s eyes, they may not be telepathic, but they know what the other is thinking.

 

_ Ride or die.  _


End file.
